Friday, July 14, 2023

No Pants Records

Matt Danger

6 pm doors, 6:30 pm show

$10 advance, $10 at the doors
Limited Seating, first come first serve.
Expect standing room.

21 and over

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No Pants Records

No Pants Records

A night of fun and revelry as performers come up one at a time to sing their songs and tell their stories of touring failures and occasional victories. From botched road trips, drunken roadies, to edible overdoses in the desert, this inaugural show culminates Storify and No Pants Records' partnership in bringing you bizzare, character-driven live entertainment you can drink to.

Matt Danger

Fiery, jovial punk rock

Matt Danger

Growing excrementally from the tombs of punkrock, Matt Danger (pronounced "Matt Damon") further legionnaires to lambaste his audience with scintillating moisture and clammy grasps to open his hearty melodies from the prime and sub-cockled areas of his heart that are firmly chained to the pacific northwest Gorge in effort to prolong the philandering and premature band he started back in 2006 called Ninjas With Syringes. But that wasn't enough words to satiate the biography....

In an effort to further procrastinate going on tour once more perhaps due to prolonged delays of his album releases far out of his control, and being a certified drum-skank for a myriad of adjoining punk bands on and off his small, incrementally plodding label, No Pants Records, Matty D has further entrenched himself in the raw stink filled glory of Portland's macabre frivolity found deep within the sedimentary layers of grit inspired austerity to produce at you some music that in his opinion "doesn't suck too bad!"

Occasionally bewildering and surprising audiences with a version of success that could only be described as mediocre while onlookers delightfully and involuntarily spit out their teas, coffee, and rich dark winter ales as their monocles joyfully fly off into their duck and lentil based soups, splattering on all to see, Matt cuts his way through Portland's nonstop blender of boilerplate mid-grade hippie rock slop to dance, sing, and pander his way through an all original set of bootstrap raising depravity that promises only two things: A good time, and that you will get laid in the next 6-8 business weeks! (Non-refundable and non-guaranteed) Plus he's got a great ass. So he's got that going for him, which is nice and all- But is that, his songs and his remarks between them enough to distract you from your phone for 30 minutes? YOU DECIDE.


About Al's Den

Head downstairs at the Crystal Hotel to hang out in this venue named for Al Winter, Portland's 1940's gambling overlord. Enjoy a craft libation in this intimate, speakeasy-style space where live music and comedy fill the air.

Wednesday & Thursday, 3 pm – 10 pm
Friday & Saturday, 3 pm – 1 am
Sunday, 3 pm - 10 pm
Closed Monday & Tuesday
Happy Hour served 2 pm – 5 pm
(21 and over only after 5 pm)


Dinner Bar Beverage

The menu features local ingredients, house-baked breads, desserts and pastries from the Crystal Bakery, a specialty cocktail menu and an affordable yet approachable wine list, while a well-trained waitstaff provides a comfortable and welcoming guest experience. No reservations are necessary; stop by for a quick business lunch, a pre-show drink or an evening date night.

Explore the Crystal Blocks

Our Crystal Hotel and legendary Crystal Ballroom are just across the street from each other, each offering their own unique spaces for live music, Northwest style fare and McMenamins hand crafted beverages.  Explore these properties and all they have to offer. 

*Get 15% off room rates at Crystal Hotel, Sunday through Thursday with a ticket purchase. (Must mention at time of booking, must verify ticket at check in for discount) *restrictions apply. 

Crystal Ballroom Property

Crystal Ballroom  Lola's Room  Ringlers Pub  Crystal Brewery

Crystal Hotel Property

Crystal Hotel  Al's Den  Ringlers Annex  Zeus Cafe

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