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Wednesday, November 12, 2025

McMenamins Presents

Tanael Joachim: The Alien Everywhere

7pm doors, 8pm show

21 and over

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Tanael Joachim: The Alien Everywhere

Tanael Joachim: The Alien Everywhere

Fresh off a TV pilot filmed for FX, TJ is back on the road with new jokes about love, death, grief, and immigration. Come for the same fresh, incisive, and caustic wit, stay for the poetry of laughter to be found within the darkest of subjects.

The Alien Everywhere is TJ's third standup tour. Following successful stints in North America and Europe, he's ready hit the road again and bring jokes from the singular Haitian perspective to the rest of the English speaking world. He's also planning to add a few more countries, and even continents to this one. He hopes to see you in a room, wherever in the world you live, laughing together at the human condition.

About TJ (Tanael Joachim)

TJ (Tanael Joachim) is a Haitian born stand-up comedian who is currently based in New York City. TJ has a very laid back, smooth, and conversational style. He jokes about race, society's idiosyncrasies, and the inherent contrast between life in Haiti and America. He has made appearances on Gotham Comedy Live (AXS TV) and Good Day New York (FOX).

TJ is a paid regular at the Comedy Cellar and Gotham Comedy Club in NYC. He has performed all over the world. He recently returned from a small European tour where he performed in English and French.

He has opened for Colin Quinn, Janelle James, Maria Bamford and Sean Patton. He has also been a featured performer at numerous festivals like Netflix Is A Joke Festival, SF Sketchfest and the Eugene Mirman Comedy Festival.

TJ is also an Op-Ed contributor for The New York Times. You can watch his special, JANUARY 3RD, on Amazon and listen to his album, SON OF HAITI, on all audio platforms. Check out his Don't Tell Comedy set on YouTube.

Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/tjstandup/

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Events

About Mission Theater

Experience a slice of Portland history. What is now known simply as “the Mission” was originally home to the Swedish Mission Covenant congregation in the early 20th century, and despite its staid, buttoned up appearance, this place now hosts live music, video dance nights and special events on select nights each month. 

For ADA accommodations please contact us by email at boxoffice@mcmenamins.com. Please note we are only able to accommodate in this section until it is at capacity.

House Rules

As our guest, please respect the house and ensure the safety and comfort of those around you by observing our House Rules. 
  • Backpacks are not permitted.
  • Re-entry policy is determined on the day of the show, and we can't guarantee that re-entry will be permitted.
PATRONS WILL BE DENIED ENTRY OR WILL BE ESCORTED OUT OF THE BUILDING WITHOUT REFUND OF TICKET IF ANY OF THE FOLLOWING IS OBSERVED:
  • Possession or use of illegal substances
  • Possession or use of permanent markers or paint pens
  • Possession of any type of weapon
  • Possession or use of false identification
  • Willful damage to the property
  • Cursing or verbal harassment towards other customers or staff
  • Inconsiderate behavior towards other customers or staff
  • Any form of inappropriate, racial or physical harassment , including displaying symbols that the venue deems to be threatening
  • Intoxication before entry
  • Consumption of any alcoholic beverage not purchased on premise
  • Smoking in non-designated areas
  • Violence of any nature
  • Thank you for your help in making the Mission Theater safe, comfortable and fun for all.

Box Office

Box Office Information
Tickets for all McMenamins shows are ticketed by Cascade Tickets, and may be purchased at the Crystal box office (located under the Crystal's awning), by phone at 1-855-CAS-TIXX, or by clicking the "Buy Tickets" link located at the event listing on our schedules.
 
Tickets bought directly at the Crystal box office or any of our ticket outlets will only incur a $2 facility charge. (Please note! Tickets to Edgefield Concerts on the Lawn will incur additional service fees.)
 
Resend Ticket Confirmation Email
 
Crystal Ballroom Box Office Hours
1 hour before door time on concert days only
 
Will Call
Will call is located at the box office.
 
Refunds
Refund requests may be directed to refunds@etix.com. If a show is cancelled or rescheduled, ticketholders will be emailed with their refund options. We will also post show information on our website (crystalballroompdx.com) and social media platforms. 
 
Accessibility
For ADA accommodations please contact us by email at boxoffice@mcmenamins.com. Please note we are only able to accommodate in this section until it is at capacity.

Frequently Asked Questions

I have questions about your box office and ticketing … where do I find that info?
Scroll up and check out our Box Office info! If you can’t find the information you’re looking for, you might find your answer below, and if not then feel free to shoot us an email.

What seating is available?
The Mission Theater specializes in open-floor shows, but also has a mezzanine on three sides with seating throughout. Occasionally the main floor will feature seating as well, and we will indicate this by referring to the event as a “seated event.”

The mezzanine sounds cool! Can I reserve seats there? 
No, our seats are all first-come, first-served. 
 
I don’t like to buy tickets online; where can I buy in person at the Mission? 
The Mission does not have its own outlet, but tickets for Mission shows (and any McMenamins music events) are available at the location described above in the Box Office section. 
 
Help, I can’t find my tickets! Can you resend/email them to me?
Even better, just go to www.etix.com/ticket/resend and provide your email address as well as the last 4 digits of the card used for purchase. A ticket confirmation will be sent to you.
 
I have a printed at home ticket … can you just scan the original email from my phone? 
We’re able to scan ticket barcodes from most phones…. Make sure your brightness is turned up for best results! If that doesn’t work we will be able to enter your ticket’s order number into the system and get you into the show that way. 
 
I can’t make the show; can I get a refund? 
We are not able to offer refunds. If you opted to purchase insurance through our ticketing company as part of your ticket purchase, you should have received an email from Allianz Global  Assistance and you can file a claim with them directly. You are also welcome to sell your tickets.

Someone sold two tickets to me for tomorrow's show. When I arrive at the venue, will there be any issues since I wasn't the original buyer? 
We are unable to determine the validity of third party tickets. Also, a ticket may be scanned only once for entry. If your ticket was purchased from someone who sold the tickets to multiple parties, only the first person who shows up will be granted entry. 

Are there still tickets / VIP tickets to a show?
You can check this by finding the show on the Mission Theater online calendar and clicking the ticket link, where availability information will be displayed. 
 
I couldn’t get a ticket for a sold-out show. Is there any way I can get one?
The best we can say is that sometimes the artist or promoter will release some tickets that they’ve been holding onto. We can’t predict, however, if or when that might happen. 
 
How do you accommodate for ADA?
For ADA accommodations please contact us by email. Please note we are only able to accommodate until the ADA section is at capacity.

I understand there are stairs leading into the Mission’s main floor. Do you have accessibility options? 
Yes, we are wheelchair accessible. We have a ramp leading to our side entrance on 17th Avenue; just let security at the front door know you need ramp access. 
 
Can I bring my camera to a show? 
While we don’t have specific house policy, we do enforce the band’s policies, and we don’t typically know those policies until the day of the show. Usually only phones or small handheld cameras are allowed, but all attendees are subject to the stipulations from the band. Professional camera gear is almost never permitted. 
 
Are Light Gloves allowed?
Yes.

 Is there a coat check?
There is no coat check at the Mission Theater. 
 
What’s your re-entry policy?
Due to a variety of factors in play for each performance, re-entry policy is determined on the day of the show, and we can’t guarantee that re-entry will be permitted. Please see our House Rules (above) for additional important entry-based information.
 
I’m interested in performing at your venue; who can I contact?
You can email booking@mcmenamins.com.
 
I want to work at the Mission Theater! 
We want to hear from you! Please check out our employment page and apply there!
 
I want to hold a private event in that glorious space!
Please visit our private event page for details! We have a dedicated staffer that can help with weddings, meetings, parties, you name it!
 
What is the venue capacity?
300 standing, 200 seated
 
Do you have air conditioning?
We do indeed have air conditioning, but there’s a LOT of air in the room and it can be tricky to keep the space cool. We set up water stations at our shows, and you are permitted to bring your own empty water bottle to fill there so you can stay hydrated. 
 
How do I get my McMenamins passport stamped?
Mission Theater stamps are only provided at the bar in the venue, and you must attend an event in order to receive one! If there’s no show or a show is sold out then you’re out of luck for that night, so plan ahead and pick a show from our fine selection of upcoming events! Another option is to wait for our occasional open houses or other free events, as we issue stamps for those events as well. 

History

The location that serves as one of McMenamins favorite neighborhood theater pubs was the locus of great spiritual zeal beginning in the 1890s. That's when the Swedish Evangelical Mission established its church here....

From a church to a theater-pub to event space, the Mission's history ain't exactly saintly. Click here for more info!

Photos

Use the arrows to scroll through the photos, or click on any image to view the gallery in flickr.


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